8th December 2007

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"Peckerwood Has Landed!"
Memorabilia gets corrupted
8 December 2007
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Read on for:
-- The Sirens of Barclaycard
-- Myspace, Blogspot, and a Tiny Robot
-- Jack Bad Ass Arrested
-- The Brodie Exhibition

Hi Folks,

P-Day has been and gone! On the 24th and 25th of November, thousands of innocent victims flocked to the Memorabilia show at the Birmingham NEC. It was a spectacular turnout. Everyone was happy, smiling and clearly oblivious to the terrifying fate which awaited them. Yes, they were soon to be introduced to Peckerwood: 24 Minutes, a new graphic novel from the creators of Tozzer, and perhaps the most corruptive influence in the world today. Forget hard drugs, Manhunt 2 or those late night quiz shows on ITV - Peckerwood is the biggest threat to the fabric of our society. It can turn a fresh-faced angel into a mischievous degenerate before they've finished reading the opening page.

The Sirens of Barclaycard
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Memorabilia was a fantastic success, and an army of pop culture fans were seduced by the irresistible appeal of Peckerwood.

But ours was not the only seductive product on offer. Just a few meters away, Barclays Bank had a booth, staffed by three bikini-clad babes (or were they wearing suits? The mind does play tricks). These Sirens of Barclaycard wielded shiny clipboards, as they called out to passing sailors, and well, any other men they could get their hands on. "Do you have a spare minute, to rescue us poor, defenceless maidens?" they whined, and what kind of gentleman could possibly ignore their sorrowful cry for help? Five minutes later, the Barclaycard creatures would be grinning from ear to ear, high-fiving each other and flapping their fish-tails with glee. And what of the males they managed to ensnare? They wandered off, dazed and confused, suffering from temporary amnesia and a commitment to pay 15.9% on all purchases, with 0% on balance transfers, subject to an initial fee of 2.5%. They never knew what hit 'em.

A number of celebs were at the show, including a bloke from Heroes, a bloke from Smallville, three blokes from Red Dwarf, and a bloke called Danny Dyer. We didn't meet any of those guys, as we were permanently tied to our tables. We mean that literally. It was those damned Barclaycard girls, of course, trying to indoctrinate us into their card-carrying cult by any means necessary. It took us the entire weekend to loosen the ropes and escape. And now we have an irresistible urge to sign up for a high rate loan and a lifetime of annoying junk mail. What's going on?!

Myspace, Blogspot, and a Tiny Robot
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Hey, did you folks know about the Tozzer Myspace page? Check it out. Make friends. Wear strange clothes. Tell the world how unfair life can be: Tozzer Comics Myspace Page

Look, there's a blog too. Are you thrilled? Of course you are! Tozzer Comics Blog

As you can see, these sites are a veritable hive of activity. Hopefully there'll be more updates in the coming years / decades, but we don't want to strain ourselves, so we might leave it till the next millennium, when our consciousness has been absorbed into a tiny robot living on a space station on the other side of the universe.

Jack Bad Ass Arrested
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In other news, Agent Jack Bad Ass has been arrested on the outskirts of Peckerwood. Apparently the star of Peckerwood: 24 Minutes was pulled over after performing a u-turn, while reading a copy of our latest graphic novel. The book was confiscated and was supposed to be logged in as evidence, but it's currently being passed around the entire Peckerwood Police Department. Officers wishing to get their hands on the item are facing a 2 year waiting list.

This whole sorry episode should be a lesson to us all. Do not drive while reading Peckerwood. Or, if you do, at least restrict yourself to one page per mile, so you don't exceed the legal limit of comedy consumption.

Safety first, kids!

The Brodie Exhibition
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Finally, congratulations, once again, to those talented folks over at Pulp Theatre. Well, this is really congrats to David Bircham, the artist on Brodie's Law - his recent exhibition at the Animation Gallery in London was a storming success. Pretty much the entire population of the planet turned up. I'm not even joking. For a moment there, the Earth's orbit round the Sun was in serious jeopardy, due to the combined weight of the 6 billion attendees. The work itself was beautiful, of course, although we didn't buy any pictures because we're cheap. The Tozzers were, however, in pretty much every photo taken at the show, as you can see here: The Brodie Show

We weren't deliberately trying to sabotage the event, honest!
That's all for now, people. We should have a competition to announce soon, so prepare to be excited! Or don't. Your choice.

Rob n Pete

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