Tozzer - the kid, the comic, the movies, the mayhem.

London, March 11 2006. “What day is it?” I groaned, as I struggled to lift my eyelids.

“Friday,” said the nurse. “You’ve been comatose since Saturday night.”

“Nooo!” I cried. Panic gripped me like a rabid chimpanzee, then it punched me in the face with its furry fist, just to see me bleed. I had a Tozzer Report to write and it would take more than a sick note to quell the anger of the Web and Mini Comix mob. I had to get my hands on a computer, and fast. So, with steely determination, I grabbed the nurse by the lapel and demanded a sponge bath.

Luckily for me, the Thing was a one-day event, so I could probably get away with a flippant introduction, some dodgy photos and a bunch of childish captions.

I cast my mind back to that fateful day in early March, and a warm glow came over me. “Thank you, nurse,” I mumbled. “That’ll be all.”

What exactly did transpire last Saturday? I know I got three hours sleep. I can remember arriving at the event and putting some books on a table. But then, hell... it’s all a bit fuzzy.

Ah, look, some photos!

A couple of bleary-eyed zombies take over the Tozzer tables

In preparation for the show, Eddie Bowley ate 15 bowls of Kellogg's All-bran

The mint decorating was going well, until Ed's biro ran out

Brodie's Law - David Bircham and the publicity-shy Daley Osiyemi

Jamie Warr in his new Dreamcast shirt

Handmade billboards and mental stability are not good bedfellows

Gary Spencer Millidge swapping hair care tips with a hobbit

As always, the Underfire crew were the life and soul of the party

Strange but true... Baz Renshaw from Engine Comics is a little over 12 feet tall

Sadly the laptop was plagued by a persistent start-up glitch

In an attempt to evade the Tozzer-Cam, James pretends to be a T-shirt

"No, madam, I was merely admiring your fascinating pendant"

"Have you seen my glove anywhere?"

"Ah, there it is."

Rory McGrath, with glamorous companion

Johnny Depp with feline companion

John Anderson (left), with Johnny Depp (this time in his Pirates of the Carribean outfit)

Roger Langridge shows off his amazing bald patch (but mine is far more impressive)

The man from Del Monte

Kevin Costner, with a bag full of Tozzer goodies

"I have a tampon stuck in my mouth. Can you help?"

Auditioning for The Exorcist

Garth Brooks, with that bloke off the cover of the Arctic Monkeys album

At last, the bleary-eyed zombies make their escape

Well, there you have it. Seeing as I have no recollection of the event, I must rely on the photographic evidence to draw my conclusions, and I'd say it looks like a hell of a good shindig. Thanks to everyone who said hello, if anyone did, and thanks to the organisers for, apparently, pulling off a blinder.

And now, I'm suddenly feeling all... dirty again.

Take it easy,

Rob

Yeah, I've gotta go. He wants another sponge bath

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